Procrastination: A Step-By-Step Guide


1. You can’t write unless your house is spotlessly clean. Spend some time with the Cillit Bang.
2. Check your email. Your inbox could be full of acceptances. While you’re on the computer you might as well have a look on Facebook and Twitter and browse the Internet.
3. Check your email again, just in case acceptances came in while you were Facebooking.
4. Realise you have the wrong notebook. Search through the extensive collection of stationery scattered around your house till you find the right one.
5. It’s lunchtime.
6. You’ve been stuck in the house all day. Go out for a walk to get some air to freshen up your brain.
7. Now you need a rest. Have a quick sit down with a good book.
8. Keep telling yourself you’ll stop reading and start writing when you get to the end of the chapter.
9. Make sure your pen works. Gather up plenty of spares in case it runs out.
10. It’s dinnertime.
11. Check your email again. There are bound to be acceptances by now.
12. There must be something worth watching on TV now.
13. At midnight sit at your desk and gaze at the blank page until you can’t keep your eyes open anymore.


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